by Christos Zabounis
Everyone agrees: juvenile violence originates in the family and social environment. When exposure to social media is added to the above, we are faced with an explosive mixture — usually an uncontrollable one. What, then, is to be done? Savoir vivre advocates communication through example. What does this mean? When children are raised with parents who constantly argue or remain angry, they instinctively reproduce the same behavior. But it is not only the family environment that creates negative role models. One simply has to turn on the television or log onto YouTube to watch party leaders bullying their political opponents. As for the “sewer” of the Internet there, all hell breaks loose. The solution is one: composure. There are certain techniques that may prove useful in acquiring and maintaining it. The first is to wait five to ten seconds before reacting during a tense moment. The second, combined with the first, is to take a slow breath, hold the air in through the nose for four seconds, and exhale through the mouth for six seconds. In private life, this seems to work perfectly. But what happens when, for example, a child returns home from school after getting into a fight with classmates – something that is now considered “cool”? A low tone of voice and slow speech can defuse the impending conflict. “Go to your room, calm down, and we will discuss it later,” is wise advice. Self-restraint, however, does not concern only relationships with minors – although, to paraphrase the ancient saying, “one must begin with the children.” In relationships between adults, maintaining calmness under pressure, anxiety, or conflict is a truly noble battleground. One principle that ought to guide us is to avoid harsh expressions and insults that we will surely regret afterward. This can be achieved through what is known as distancing the first person singular. Phrases such as “I have the feeling,” “I feel that I am trying to understand,” or “I have the impression,” lessen emotional intensity. We should also make certain never to interrupt the person speaking, under any circumstances, because doing so will only multiply their anger. We allow them to finish, and when they do, we ask calmly and steadily: “May I respond?” Having once been the target of aggression during a television appearance on To Proino on ANT1 TV, following the funeral of Constantine II – officially titled “former King of the Hellenes” – I was unfortunately carried away and failed to follow the advice of an experienced parliamentarian. What had the now-deceased politician once told me, long before that incident? “Before you answer, drink two sips of water – not one.”
